man, i think i ate like a hungry ghost for dinner. once i reached home, hunger plunged into my tummy and i gobbled down my dinner really fast like a bottomless pit. then i ate mini ice-cream (yuuumm) and jelly dearie and i made the other day.

outcome? satisfied me :D

HAHAAA. rarely do i eat like that gosshhh. "nevermind luh, tmr playing 6v6" - failed attempt at consoling myself.

tmr is the start of an endless torture. gotta be at sch by 740 which will be highly unattainable? every morning is just snoozing the alarm, then lazing around for awhile before getting out of bed. but i guess such pleasure is ripped off me from the start of tmr ):

i still cant believe it. having to abide sooooo many rules like in a week's time. be it mine or the school's, this doesnt give me much optimism for 2009. i really dont like it. a year ago, i was brimming with enthusiasm for the start of the new year. mixing with new ppl in a whole new environment surprisingly didnt dampen my mood then. it added on to my excitement instead.

zilch. nothing. during the long break given for me to catch up, im ashamed to admit that i didnt use it wisely. so now im panicking a lil and it certainly isnt helping in any way. i have to struggle, slog my heart out this year which i might not be able to do it, considering the fact that the whole 2008 was dedicated to playing. cannot, also must can.

oh nevermind i'll do my best. hey, my ex tutor told me im a smart girl leh! tho i dont really witness it in any way.

what saddens me is that i couldnt balance things the way it should be handled. it went off pretty okay at the beginning, but now, a letdown. but maybe its okay? shoot. what am i thinking. its never okay. & its like, you can never have the best of both worlds. and then, those "we'll always still be as close", " keep in contact!".. are like empty promises, are like jokes now. so yes, its hard to trust. and thats why i like it when everyone just click at the beginning, but we still hang out, crap, do crazy stuff like we've known each other since forever.

ohwell, better cast these aside. sometimes life's a bitch and i hafta get on with it.