why

0kay, im here cos i've been waiting for a call agent at e2i to attend to me ever since FOREVER. wait until my call auto hang up for the fourth time. the traffic volume is unbelievable man. i hope there'll still be vacancies then :( lets see how long i have to wait.

well, this is really quite slow, but yeah. looking back at 2009, i can clearly see that i was unhappy. and by using unhappy to describe my year, thats an understatement. i cannot explain how i felt. no doubt, studies was really pushing me to my limits. i was goddamn worried abt a levels i tell you. i am ashame to admit that i was so playful during j1 that my jc foundation was really weak. and then common test, midyears, prelims came too quickly. and there was the principal, building DOWN my self confidence. (okay, my call auto hang up again.) his main point-those who did badly for prelims will never make it for a levels. it was during that period i decided to chiong all the way and there he was, being a stupid wet blanket. as a guo lai ren, to those taking As this year, its never too late. fight all the way, really! i almost DID give up, but i have to thank someone who once played a big part in my life for having endless faith in me.

and first week of a levels came. first pp was math pp1. it wasnt easy, but what can you say for someone who never touched math, only one month prior to the pp? then again, it wasnt difficult la. i think i shared the same sentiments as the majority.. so yah, i hope its okay. i really wna thank mr kwek for being so awesome, he was my math savior. i know some might find him annoying or what, cos of what he says and comments during lessons, but i wont cos i owe him. for giving me any consultation slots i needed, and for giving me his timetable instead of me asking, and for believing that i could still make it - supa thankful for that. and i owe it to my strong math foundation during sec sch. it really helped me immensely.

econs. i went home like a cry baby. everyone would think im insane cos the pp was really unusually difficult. but i was so upset cos i really set my hopes so high for econs, i was aiming for an A. my very last practice for essays, i was awarded 16, 17 and 18 by my tutor and he has always been very strict with his marks. that got me hopeful and these hopes were dashed. i know everyone said they did badly, but im not lying when i said i did worse. everyone looked at me like this " :O " when i told them how my paper went. horrendous.

and then physics. for the written papers, im scolding myself for being such a dumbass and letting myself get so affected by him that i hardly studied for it. i am thus thankful that both was alright, tho pp3 was saddening cos i was beyond careless. ppfftt. its pp1 that made me feel that hardwork definitely doesnt pay off. i was so emo for a long time. i worked so hard for it but im not rewarded.

did you ever feel like why some people have all the luck in the world? or some only have to put in that small amount or no effort at all but still get the best out of whatever it is? and i ask myself why cant i be that person.

blame it on the long waiting time that i typed out this whole chunck of rubbish. they finally picked up my call btw! (just after the phy para hahahahaaa) so i shall stop my emo verbal diahorrea abruptly.

i shall be totally random and complain abt my rashes. yes, its making me so icky. now somehow ok alr cos i ate medicine. but i super dont like and hate having my body having such sucky reaction toward alcohol. damn sickening you know? the itch is unbearable. idk if its allergy or heat rash. qiling tell me will get over it soon but it doesnt seem like it :(

oh yah, i just came up with a new year resolution: to stop procrastinating, esp if its something that is really impt. hahaha that was in response to the urgent need to get my resume done by today.

so yup. i hope to get it done by dinner, then practice piano (my exam is at sept and i have to pass!!). and hopefully do some skipping, basically it means exercising. boy, im busy even when im home.