Oh god

It's December already?? I am currently feeling terrible. I want to slap myself up sooooooooo much but I fear of appearing lunatic. I have been wanting to blog but can't find the time to do so. There's an incomplete post abt my bday for me to really show how much I appreciate everone's love. But time is really not on my side. And I am disgusted by my level of determination and ability to stay focus. Need to be BETTERRRRRR. I'm just really pissed w myself right now, I feel like I can stab my chest w a knife. But I'm a coward so ya.