i typed a long, chunky post ytd but i finally decided not to post it. its the kind that never would you imagine me speaking in that sort of manner and then you'll go "what the hell happened man". come to think of it, im thankful that i didnt act impulsively. thanks, both of you, for helping me in a way or another, so i could think straight in a clear mind. i cant predict the outcome and im aware of the risk im going to take and im kind of ready. its better not to drag it any further. what will turn out of this, i guess will solely depend on my decision and mine only. selfish as it seems, i've come to a conclusion that i should start thinking for myself.

i scanned thru my past. i've not been feeling right ever since nov08. i think, you made me suffer.